


The Happening

by itzteegan



Series: Kinktober 2019 [8]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: AO3 FB Challenge, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Crystals, Embarrassment, F/M, Kinktober, Kinktober 2019, M/M, Mild Smut, Mistakes, Phone Sex, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Sending Crystal (Dragon Age) Sex, Sending Crystals (Dragon Age), Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-28 23:56:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20952917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itzteegan/pseuds/itzteegan
Summary: Dorian and The Iron Bull use their sending crystals for more than just conversation, much to the chagrin of Cullen and Guinn ...





	The Happening

**Author's Note:**

> Kinktober Day 8: Phone sex
> 
> \--
> 
> Okay, so, this ended up being more silly than smutty, but I make no apologies.

It took a not insignificant number years after what was referred to as _the happening_ for everyone involved to find it riotously funny instead of downright embarrassing, bordering on international incident had anyone else found out about it (which they took great pains to _not_ let word get out).

Well, that wasn’t entirely true … The Iron Bull thought it hilarious from the moment he heard about it, while all other parties involved were properly mortified at the event in question, preferring to either hedge around the nuggalope in the room or just ignore it completely.

It all started out innocently enough. Or, rather, as innocent as it was ever going to be, considering the circumstances. Nights in Tevinter could get rather lonely, after all, and since Dorian had given a sending crystal to The Iron Bull as well as the Inquisitor, well … there was no reason to spend the evening all alone. His partner was certainly not averse to hearing from him in any capacity, and when it came to being lewd over a sending crystal, it seemed that much more exciting. It could sometimes be difficult for The Iron Bull to find an isolated enough room or tent, but for this particular evening, The Chargers were holed up in a tavern and The Bull had managed to secure a solitary room for himself. Since the company had been rather busy as of late, it had been a nice little stretch of time since the pair had even been able to talk at all. “Sorry, Kadan, there was an influx of Darkspawn in the area, and Warden Ranier needed some help getting rid of them.”

“Quite alright. The Magisterium has kept me on my toes as of late,” Dorian admitted. “But I have some time tonight …”

“Oh?” The Bull asked, a coy tone in his voice that meant they both knew well where this conversation was going. “And just how alone are you?”

Dorian smiled. “Utterly,” he replied, lounging back on the chaise, robes already loosened and ready to be pushed to the side.

“Really? No servants listening in …”

The mage snorted. “Not like you would care if there was or not.”

“I wouldn’t, but you might, when I tell exactly what I want you to do.”

He had to admit, he was intrigued, even though he had a fairly good idea of what The Bull would want him to do. He knew he would enjoy it either way, and his voice dropped a half-octave as he asked, “And just what _do_ you want me to do?”

The Iron Bull’s chuckle echoed over the crystal as he commented, “All in good time, since we have that for once.” He paused just a moment before he asked, “Are you still wearing your robes?”

“Yes, but they’re nice and loose.”

“Well, good to know you’re eager,” The Bull commented. “Do you have oil nearby?”

Dorian snorted. “Of course I do, I’m not a plebeian.”

“Good. Now, take the oil …” And with that, The Iron Bull launched into a detailed list of instructions that left Dorian moaning just from the description alone. And he followed them to the letter, slicking up his fingers, loosening himself, stroking his cock when and only when he was directed to. He was excellent at following orders when he wanted to, and when The Bull was giving them, he always wanted to.

Unfortunately, their night would not remain as uninterrupted as they had been thinking, as just when they were getting into the heat of it – after The Iron Bull had prompted Dorian to respond in kind – there was a sharp knock at the door on Dorian’s end. The mage was silent for a moment, wondering if perhaps whoever was on the other side would go away, but instead the knocking started up again, more insistent, as one of his aides on the other side insisted, “Magister Pavus, I apologise, I wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t urgent, but …”

Dorian sighed. “I’ll be right there,” he called out to his aide. To his lover, he said, “I’m hoping this won’t take too long. Wait for me?”

“Of course, Kadan.”

A cheeky tone coloured Dorian’s voice as he told him, “Don’t have too much fun without me.”

Hundreds of leagues south, in the heart of Thedas, the Inquisitor and her Commander were settling in for a little fun of their own in a well-deserved night of relaxation. Guinn giggled, just slightly tipsy from the earlier wine as she lounged in Cullen’s lap, his arm around her waist to steady her as she leaned in to kiss him. His other hand cupped the back of her head, keeping her in place so he could take his own time with her, which she was more than happy to let him. Deciding to keep the Inquisition going was no small decision and it involved a lot of work to keep the organisation going with minimal outside influence from both the Qunari and Fen’Harel. Quiet nights spent together had been getting more and more rare, so this was quite the nice distraction.

Dorian and The Iron Bull weren’t the only couple about to be interrupted that night, however, as when it was getting nice and heated between them, all of a sudden they both heard Dorian’s voice clear as day, “Ah, there we are, all taken care of. Now, where were we? Oh yes …”

Now, it’s important to note how sending crystals work, exactly. Non-mages can use them once they are made, of course, but they do need to be activated on each end, usually by touch. During normal conversations, one person would activate theirs, speak to the receiving party, and that person would then activate their crystal in order to respond. If the second party didn’t activate the crystal on their end, the first person would still be able to talk to them, but they would be unable to hear anything in response. This didn’t normally create a problem, except for this particular night …

Cullen and Guinn froze as they heard Dorian’s voice, Guinn wondering if they were really hearing what they thought they were hearing and Cullen mentally positing if it was possible it would stop if they simply stayed still, similar to a response of some prey upon spotting a predator. It did not stop, however, and Dorian simply continued, “Now, on my knees, it’s not going to be the easiest if I don’t have use of my hands, but I can make do without. I know you don’t like it when I tease, but I simply can’t resist, especially when you make that _sound_ …”

Dorian’s soft moan snapped Guinn and Cullen out of their stupor as they both scrambled to their feet, desperate to locate her sending crystal as soon as possible. Unfortunately, that was not as simple a prospect as it should have been, as when Guinn opened up the desk drawer that she normally kept it in … it was gone. And so the pair tore through her room in Skyhold, upending drawers and pouring through pockets and bags, trying to find it before Dorian embarrassed himself further and also before their own ears burned off from hearing all of the explicit things he was describing doing to The Iron Bull’s substantial cock.

The poor Commander’s cheeks were beet red as he exclaimed, caught between sorting through other desk drawers and the urge to cover his ears, “Andraste preserve me … Guinn, please find that maker-damned crystal!”

Guinn was frantically patting down the pockets in the recent cloaks she’d been wearing as she promised, “I’m trying, I’m trying!” The crystal was not so easy to locate, and the couple became more and more frantic, especially as Dorian’s descriptions became more and more crude and explicit and Guinn wondered how her friend had accidentally grabbed the wrong crystal and if he was at all curious about why The Iron Bull hadn’t responded to him at all.

Finally, after what seemed like a blessed age had passed, Guinn finally spotted the crystal in the bedside table. Grabbing it, she barely waited for it to activate before she shouted, “Dorian! You have the wrong crystal!”

The intervening silence was deafening, as if the Magister wasn’t quite sure how to handle this particular situation. Fighting corruption and countering moves in the game in Tevinter was one thing, but just what did you do when you realised you’d just given your friend an explicit earful into the sexual side of your relationship? That you’d just described – in minute detail – your lover’s cock and what you loved about it, how you would worship it, how you wanted to be fucked by it, in certain places and in what positions … There was no manual or guide for this situation, and so Dorian opted for simply saying, “Dreadfully sorry,” before he deactivated his end of that particular crystal.

As Guinn stored her crystal back in its usual place, she glanced over at Cullen and posed, “I think I’d like to just go to bed after that.”

He agreed, nodding, his expression still a bit dazed. “Yes, I-I think that would be best.”

And somewhere, in a small tavern, a roar of laughter filled the air. Krem looked toward the stairs that led up to the rooms, musing almost to himself, “I thought the chief was spending alone time with Dorian?”

The rest of the company shrugged and continued on drinking their ale and mead, oblivious to the situation that had just unfolded.


End file.
